lost, frustrations, jealousy and selfishness are words dat describe me best now.

firstly, im so lost in school today! when i heard my classmates talking abt wad lecture and wad notes, i dont know if i have this or that. im practically LOST. i just stoned there trying so hard to recall which is which. but..i just couldnt. i like im lagging behind just at e 2nd week of school! HOW?! i gonna pay attention man. :/ i feel fear as well. ohboy. slap me.

next, im so bothered by this matter since a long time back. okayy. i feel partly jealous. you know like for example u feel that u deserve something better than this particular person, lets call it Z. but Z got a lot more than you does and you feel dat Z doesnt deserve it. the worst part is Z keeps coming up to you to tell you the things that happened to Z! Z is telling you all that you dont wanne hear! ohgosh. i rather not know seriously. cos it just BOTHERS ME. tsk.

and im freaking frustrated over wad had happened but i couldnt do anything. either can i explain why i felt this way. you know how it feels?! GODDAMN.

i realised im a SELFISH SHELLFISH. loll. i dont know. i think its rhymes. HAHA. :x anyway yeah. SELFISH. sometimes when you have something, you just want it to be only by YOUR side. and not being SHARED.

okayy, im coughing badly now. i dont know when i breathe in and out, my throat will get irritated and a lil itchy which urge me to cough. and it goes on and on. :( please go away! bad throat. nd i hate seeing myself in reflections! i realised my eyebags is super humongous and dark. :/ FUGLY UGLY JANLY. i need to get myself EYE MASKS!!!

a few happy lil things that make me smile thou:

finally bought my casio gold face watch! at $18! i saw on blogshops selling at $25 loh and i was so tempted to buy! thank god! LOL. HEES. and now i cnt stop looking at it. PRETTYAYE! :D

----------

darling tard was damn cute. for e first time he gave me a tiny surprise tat made me SMILE to myself. HAHAS. thank god its at home if nt ppl might think im crazy. LOL.

He msged me: go close your laptop cover.

me: why? for wad. (cos i usually dont)

tard: just close it.

me wandering: omg, will there be some ghostly image pop out when im in front of e lap top?! LOL. i swear dat was wad was going in my mind. HAHAS.

but still went to do it. BUT went to ON MY LIGHTS first just in case! LOL.

so i pulled down the cover.. and i saw a tiny tweeny bit of paper there. he took it from my desk de "post it" note LOH.

it wrote: Qing Wen Loves Janice!

OMG. HAHAS. :D super happy. thanks darling!

sometimes i hate wad i see.

sometimes i hate wad i feel.

sometimes i hate wad you wrote!

but im keeping quiet.

BOOHOOS..

i swear i was damn HOT today. cos i have gt FEVER! :/ oh man.

i bet its the weather.the night before my body was burning hot but im shivering badly under my blanket! however i was too tired to get out of my bed to get my jacket. so i just hug my hot bod to sleep. when i woke up the next morning to get myself to school. i realised i was running a fever and i was feeling too weak to attend school. so i went back to sleep.

hee, superman came over to take me to the doctor and took care of me the whole day. thanks darling. :) silly boy skipped school just for it. no more 2nd time uh!

anyway, hate medicine man. had such a hard time taking it. :( nd i actually choked on my med! i had to actually powdered it and i dunnoe how i can choke on powder! blahh. its so terrible. kill me man. i told bf i rather die if when im old nd had to consume like tons of med like my grandma have to. LOL. and im serious! :x

sweet darling graciie was damn random on msn! she drew this:

how sweet right! hees. den i told her how i wish all my pills are sweets happy pills like this instead of bitter pills. :/

knowing she loves lollipop.. i drew this for her:

HAHAS. okayy. maybe ABIT ugly hurr. but still its e thots dat counts right and i think damn cute can. :p colourful one somemore.

den she told me she was blogging and i told her:

Janice; i dread being sick. boos. says:
must put u miss JANICE HUAY CAI LING DEEP DEEP and swear u will meet her next week! :x
- [c=46]♥[/c]GRACiiE! ; twinkling. says:
OMG! swearrr D:
- [c=46]♥[/c]GRACiiE! ; twinkling. says:
hmm, wad shall i swear with

Janice; i dread being sick. boos. says:
swear with LOLLIPOPS!
Janice; i dread being sick. boos. says:
if u dont, u owe me lollipops.
Janice; i dread being sick. boos. says:
if u do, i owe u lollipop!
- [c=46]♥[/c]GRACiiE! ; twinkling. says:
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHA!
- [c=46]♥[/c]GRACiiE! ; twinkling. says:
OMGGGG i want those
- [c=46]♥[/c]GRACiiE! ; twinkling. says:
swirlswirl many many colours one!
- [c=46]♥[/c]GRACiiE! ; twinkling. says:
okay! i shall go swear it now
Janice; i dread being sick. boos. says:
HAHAS
Janice; i dread being sick. boos. says:
OKAY SET!

alright. am heading off to bed. goodnight world. :)

i hate rainy days.

oops. i think i did it again.

i forgot to set my alarm clock e night before nd ended up skipping my lecture yet AGAIN. :x

hahas. im so dead. i havent attend a single lecture this week! nice one janice. i must be motivated to get my lazy ass outta e bed and go to school PUNCTUALLY. LOL. c'mon man. i gotta start telling myself the HOLIDAY IS OVER and tune myself into STUDY MODE. :/ seriously need to work harder.

anyway, had lunchy with daddy nd he sent me to school before heading to work. :) i always feel so pampered when im with my dad! HAHA. so wad am i doing in school when i had alr missed my lecture of e day?!

to meet my DEARIES of cos! hees. yupp. met my scand xiu zhen, hip-hoppy fion, "da bian" buddy jolene (!!!) nd pretty boy zhen lin! after dat scand and i left for town! shopped ard far east plaza before heading to wheelock place to collect scand's hp under service. :) both of us have cravings for STARBUCKS frapp luhs! :D whee~! shared choco muffin nd i had my lovely caramel frapp! lalala.

was flipping my hearty notebook nd i found a quiz in it nd scand did it. ohman! i think out of 15 qns, we had e same ans for like 11 qns! and we keep hi-5-ing. HAHAS. :) then she had to go off for band. and for e first time we are heading e same way! cos usually she will head back to the east and me to the north. im nt going home alone! teehees.

thanks scand for e company! the talks are loves and u are too! :) dinner tmll! yay!

AND I HAD FINALLY FINISHED UPLOADING PICTURES FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS!

get on the time machine with me and go back to 12 days ago..

celebrated super irritating KANG CHENG bday at suntec FISH & CO! poor bday boy says he cnt stand fried fish smell and will vomit but the rest of e peeps were alr in there, we couldnt back out last min! so we forced him. HAHAS. but i think he bluff us loh, cos he had e enormous fried swordfish, nd nth happened loh! LOL. kuku. as usual the staff sang him some song and yada yada. bought him swensons ice cream cake! yumyum.

then we headed off to clarke quay. ohboy. SOMEBODY uh, SOMEBODY still under 18 nd was wearing SHORTS.. we couldnt get into arena nor any other bars. :/ boohoos. so went to boat quay-eskibar instead.
it was FULL. gahhh.. so we had to sit at the FREEZING COLD area! ohgosh! is like when u breathe out from ur mouth theres smoke coming out! yewwhoo.. im at genting! ha. NOT! but it certainly is COOL. they even provide us with winter jackets! woohoo! had chivas! my first time eh! :D but i think its terrible to drink it on e rock! can die man. poor elinda nd aner love were like.. ahem. ya. winner tay was damn high luhh! hahas. den all e guys were like damn worried abt them. huachi was nice enuff to get some lemon slices for us to suck on. :)

then we headed off to THUMPER to find aner love's daddy boss! woot! love was so much better after puking but elinda cmi alr. so she went home sweet home soon after. we waited for e band to finish their thang and we got down to the DANCE FLOOR to get low low low low.. hahas! great dancing with love! hot yo! :) nd she damn funny! hahas, she will pull me away the moment a guy appear ard me. she makes a good security guard! :x kidding. hahas.

then mum and dad drove all e way down to send me back home safely. :) its alr 4am in e morn'in mind you! hees. im blessed! hooray for mummy nd daddy!

nd can u believe it?! im working e very next day! supposed to work at 4pm, but i was late! missed the briefing. gosh. anyway, it was "harry potter" style, western wedding dinner! aww, the bride was damn pretty! she have got the "hollywood" star aura! nd the bride is a ang moh okayy! umm. its also the first wedding dinner which i find ppl really getting dressed up grandly for a wedding dinner! loads of rich tai tai, handsome rich guys which we reckon are gays. HAHAS. :x and STARS! theres andrea de cruz, dick lee, jamie yeo nd glenn ong!

things went on smoothly until one of my manager scolded me! darn. i was told that girls are supposed to top up drinks, serve bread nd butter and help to serve the food and e guys are runners helping to carry the food to our table. i did what i was told. then out of nowhere lawerence asked me "where is your food?!" im like "im waiting for e runner luhhs. i missed e briefing nd i dunnoe whos my runner!" he walked out fuming. i was totally clueless. WAD HAD I DONE WRONG MAN. then he came back shouting, "WHO IS JANICE?" im like DUH! ME LUHS. and he obviously noe im JANICE! WTH. den he say im supposed to collect e food!

HA! then i told him wad im supposed to do.. nd nt collecting e food! he then helped me to carry my food in. -.- i was alr in tears man. why do you throw ur temper at me! tsk. den i asked laoda who is my runner. then he say bcos im the last table, i have to wait for e guys to serve other tables first. -.- and yet again, Lawrence came back nd said " can you work faster?! you are very slow. you havent clear the food!" HELLO? the guys were supposed to do it! and when i clear the food, my another manager asked me nt to nd leave it to the guys.. so who am i to listen to?

finally theres stop service. Lawrence talked to me and cheryl.. i was so flared up with him i ignored him totally nd darn i cried in front of him nd cheryl! then lawrence apologised. humphs. dumbdumb.

nd for the first time i stayed over at amara hotel! cos we worked ot! shared the room with apple, scand xiu zhen and treddy. omg! the toliet was open concept! theres a glass window which can see thru the whole toliet just right beside the bed! so we had to like use towels to cover when showering! HAHAS.

then we had cup noodles before turning in at 6am!

woke up at 11 plus nd started work at 12pm! for the first time i was asked to work at glass pavilion! helped to ring the bell after they said, " i do". dat was abit dumb and awkward thou. hahas. then helped jerry to wash cup for the tea ceremony. lol. then served drinks. afterwhich i was asked to be cocktail server outside the lobby. so i thot i would be beverage server for e night! :(

but next thing i know, Nicholas asked me in for briefing. nd he told me im doing VIP! ohmygod! im like shocked nd scared! my first time eh~! there are 3 VIP tables dat night. so VIP 1 will be scand zhen, VIP 2 apple and im doing VIP 3. but due to the uniform differences, i was asked to go up on stage while the 2 of them stand at e side under e stage! im so nervous and worried! we just went thru the thing ONCE and dats it! oh man! dead. i was cold and nervous! everything was fine except the bowing part! i dint noe the light came up alr! i was like stoning for some time until i realised its abit long, turned my head to the right nd realised e lights were up! i quickly bowed! ohgosh! they told me it was rather obvious.. :( shit.

theres only 6 pax in my table. nd only 2 left behind for e last course! LOL. VIP is rather slack but its really much more pressure! *faint* but i think i dint do well for my first time. :/ heh.

then had the leftover food before heading home! the cabbie which sent me home was damn funny. he asked me how old am i. i said"18" then he said," 18 meh?!" then he on the light and look into mirror and replied," yea, okayy 18." HAHAS. nd erm, coincidentally he sent gareth off at 4am nd he told gareth im pretty? like wat the.. LOL.

alright, i cut off the next part. i realised the post is too longgg. shall continue it the next time. :) hahas. nights peeps! and i just got a msg frm my classmate theres a make up class at 2 tml! ohman. i thot i can go home at 1! its 4 now. :( boohoos. suck my colourful toes man. :x

WAYWEE~!

im finally able to BLOG after so long! okayy, theres something wrong with the dumbdumb internet connection! it is such a torture to be able to use to comp but unable to connect to the internet! tell me wads e use man! zzz. thankgoodness e singtel person came down and changed the whole mio thingy & here i am! woohoo!

alright. theres a zillion things on my mind to blog about! so many updates. HAHAS. lets see if im able to SQUEEZE everything in. just dont fall asleep okayy! i reckon it will be a long post. but worry not, there will be many peektures to keep things a lil more entertaining. teehees.

just came home from winner's belated bird birthday celebration! :D new york new york-ed at citylink! love green apple favoured cotton candy!

shared "meat platter" with huachi. ohgod, super full. theres like half chicken each, some fried chicken fillet, potato wedges is favourited, spare ribs and corn!

birthday babe received a packet of , "WINNER" brand cigarette. LOL. superduper cute elmo heartshaped balloon, anna sui perfume, and my BLING BLING HOT PINK "photoalbum cum scrapbook" for her! hope she likes it all. :)

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MY UTMOST LOVE!

then while we were taking group photo, out of nowhere there are SHAKERS! and next thing we know, the staffs present a heart shaped cotton candy "cake" and sang her a bday song! sweet aye. a great surprise. hahas.

after dinner we went on to ARAB STREET to look for auntie rach, audrey and ruiling! woot, auntie rach DROVE! HAHAS. we somehow settled at some "wulu" place, then waited to go up to the 2nd storey of e shophouse to shesha. but obviously it was rather stuffy and e smell was intolerable. so we went down again. hmm..somehow things dint go quite well.. everyone seems to dislike the place, the shesha. nd it became kinda boring at e end. :x

went off soon after. while biding goodbye, someone shouted my name! nd i saw VAL! woot! i was so HIGH luhhs. i screamed and throw my body onto her. HAHAS. then hitched a ride from her friend to bugis. and headed home alone. boos.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOO VAL!

i still wanne go shesha again! ;p nd damn, i choked once. :/ nd did i mention it was my first time? teehees.

oh, and i headed back to school for e first time today ever since term break! i got to meet my new classmates. nd goddamn it. im in e same class as some b*t*hes. tsk. :/ thank god we arent in e same group for commskill project, if nt i think i can bang e wall. hopefully i wont be in e same grp as them for other subjects as well. darn. and coincidentally i met a new classmate who dislike them as well and for e same bloody reason! tell me..how can it be so coincidental?! anyway, besides them, im alright. theres gf natalie, germaine, aaron and soon wee! heees. nd theres only like 3 guys in our class! LOL. lets hope it will be a smooth term. :)

things dint start off well this week.

i dont know wad to say.. how to start.. maybe i decided not to talk abt it here. lets just wish things will become better.

i know u have been enduring my bad temper..thank you.

but sometimes i wished for more in you. maybe im expecting too much. or rather too demanding?

sometimes i hate e self im presenting to you.

i just feel so screwed. :/ but im hanging on & i will.

i remembered someone once told me,

whatever happened, happen for a reason. Its not for the worst but for the better to come. lets make it happen.

as for the other matter which have been very much bothering me.. idk. i feel so sick and tired. i feel like giving up. reallye. i do all dat i could. i did my part. but nth came out of it. i dont feel appreciated. i think i deserve better. but somehow, e other part of me, am still hoping for some kind of miracle. please do. :(

i dont really have any mood to blog abt wad happened for e past few days.. maybe another day.. just not today.

我第一次对你那么生气。心有点痛，又有点酸。不知不觉眼眶就湿了。泪也就掉下了我的脸蛋。我只知道我什么都不想想，不想说，不想做。只想哭累了，就睡了。

just came back from supper with my parents. had not-so-yummy roti prata. :/ but i love just love SUPPER! hees. gees, it gonna make me go fatfatfat. :x

went on yet another shopping trip today. with cussie this time. :) after all dat postponing. teehees. headed cityhall den bugis. nd i dint bring enough money! shucks. bought yet another bangles,from Accessorize . :x been buying alot of bangles this month. anyway, i finally bought a vest. like after million years luhh. hahas. am happy! :D

my baby boy is out of e town at MALAYSIA, Genting! man. holiday without me. how i wish i could tag along. :( *pouts* i keep wondering wad is he doing over there e whole day luhhs.. im missing him. sigh. come back soon darling! nd bring me back some good stuff okayy. xp HEHE. nd my phone hardly vibrate todayy.. boohoos. nd he say he will call..but.. :/ quick call me darling!!!

oh, and i was talking to haohao weng hao! nd i forced him to include my name in his blog post since he is blogging nd he did! wahahas! :D i was luffing like an idiot in front of e screen! :x but i like. hahas.. see u dude!

im missing track days alr.. all e dinner tgt.. sigh, i doubt im heading back as a tracker. but i dont mind going back for fun at times! hees. I WANNE KEEP FIT even after quiting track! teehees. prolly going back on monday! :D

ohmyohmyohmy..

idk what is wrong with my hotmail! i cnt read my mails! :( urghh. it just wont load..

i wanne trim my hair! i cnt stand my spilt ends! its everywhere! :/ nd i think i need a new freshly cut fringe. i have been trimming my own fringe for e past 9mths! LOL! i think its time for a professional touch. :x hahas. but im really worried how it will turn out. still wondering wad kinda fringe i should get. had a lesson learnt e other time. hahas. which many thinks i look like china doll or Egyptian queen. HAHAS. i dont want dat again! i dont wante look horrendous when school reopens!

many things have happened during this holiday.. some, im really clueless how to resolve or go about it anymore. but im really grateful for e people around me, giving their care and concern. :) thanks people, u noe who u are. listening to my rants..nd all.

some deep impression ones:

♥zhen lin freshie- a pleasant surprise. hees. even thou i dint mention a word to u, u read my blog nd knew i was kinda vexed, u sent me msg to cheer me up and gave me some advices. thanks zhen lin. :) my partner at work for quite a no of times le! great working wit u too!

♥cherlle (blavis)- hahas, i think u will be kinda shocked to see ur name here. but yupp. u make me feel e warmth. :) firstly i was shocked when u told me u do read my blog. nd even thou we arent very close in real life, u always take e initiative to talk to me on msn. and somehow we do understand each other's situation and stuff. really great chatting wit u and thanks for all dat. :) hope u are getting on well nd happier!

♥val- idk if u will see this but i feel really relief and happy when i received ur msges. thanks babe for telling me im nt forgotten nd dat im missed. i miss u million too!

all dat i need is..

daily peepers

the best damn thing


loved-bf.
♥ DUA LOVE

loved-cuzzie.
♥ shuting
♥ serene biao jie

loved-canberrians.
♥ MEIYIN
♥ GRACE laopo
♥ jialong bro
♥ Suling dear
♥ jolyn nu er
♥ syafiq
♥ dilyse

loved-TP

♥ natalie
♥ cheryl
♥ janice phua
♥ fiona
♥ terry
♥ vanessa
♥ rayan
♥ maggie
♥ bing cheng

loved zilra.
♥ scandal graciie
♥ scandal rebecca
♥ scandal zhen
♥ twin serena
♥ fung yung
♥ yuen yuen
♥ zilra
♥ weng hao
♥ luffy
♥ johan
♥ sylvia
♥ kimberly
♥ chang yong
♥ amanda

loved classmates.
♥ my utmost love winner
♥ jialing
♥ eva
♥ audrey
♥ dianna
♥ zhining
♥ shuan
♥ lulu
♥ jap cds sean

loved VENOS.
♥ venos
♥ dancing queen apple
♥ fion
♥ jolene
♥ rayna
♥ jel
♥ pam x2 dora the explorer
♥ sinyan
♥ geraldine
♥ maybelle

freshies.
♥ sinhui jellyfish
♥ crazy but fun branda
♥ fruit basket cherry
♥ pretty brandon
♥ sweetie lya
♥ pretty melissa
♥ sky
♥ gareth
♥ larry the golden hair dude

loved RINKU.
♥ RINKU
♥ brendon
♥ damian
♥ dolyce
♥ glenn
♥ jeremy
♥ morgan

loved rinku freshies.
♥ caiyan
♥ ivan
♥ junior
♥ janice
♥ vanessa

loved trackmates.
♥ tp track official blog
♥ fangee
♥ adriel
♥ alison
♥ yi ning
♥ radhiyah

others that i also love.
♥ belinda
♥ michelle
♥ yewleong
♥ BSC
♥ wensheng
♥ pearlyn

boredom drives me to:
♥ xiaxue
♥ 98.7fm
♥ imeem
♥ serene biao jie's work
♥ liebemarlene vintage
♥ online shopping!



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