Tuesday, 26 January 2010
woo.. im back from the first training for saturday’s event!
alright, i only told a few of my closest ones abt this event..
was quite worried i couldnt make it so i dint want to announce anything yet.
but from what i see, no one should be kicked out.
exact 10 babes and 10 dudes.
helping to model for s’pore poly 50th anniversary event! cool! thanks yins!
so today practically just did catwalk.
bah. im in a whole new environment with unfamiliar faces!
i felt really nervous and shy at first. felt so insecure when yins left!
i know i need to make new friends. but i feel so out-of-place!
you know like u are thrown into the big ocean trying to keep yourself afloat? :/
yeah dats how i felt. but slowly i tried to open up, but still quite reserved i think.
some said im so shy and quiet. LOL. cos im simply nervous and certainly, uncomfortable. gahhh
anw, i missed the first training last week.
so came today, was a lil lag behind.
okay, prob not first time cat walking. BUT ITS SO DIFFERENT!
okay.. how should i phrase it..
erm, cos the other time, i modelled for some hairstyle/ make up event, e audience are mostly 20s.
and i was able to like take it easy..
but this time, EVERYONE IS ARD MY AGE!
so the pressure is there! :(
and so.. i would say i did not perform up to my expectation/standard.
bah.. sadly i did trashy. :(
i got the counts wrongly which was quite embarrassing and i dont have enuff confidence!
heh! some girls were like damn confident luhs! sashaying down the walkway like nobody business. ahh..
I NEED PRACTICE and CONFIDENCE PILLS! :D
tomorrow going to NUM for fitting! :D
got yins to accompany me! weet weet!
even though its free labour, but i will take it as a learning experience and i gained back my friendship i missed so so much. :)
you know what i mean! love you muchhie bestie! great catch up today! and im missing out a lot on bf’s life ever since his birthday. :(
felt totally jaded and upset that things btw us were like rocky. booboo.
cos of some “bitch” luhs . :x OOPS.
but i hope we cleared things up last night. reallye.
i want things to work out.
im really giving in already.. its up to you to make it right.
i could see u giving in too..but stop taking me on a roller coaster ride. my heart couldnt take no more of this. :/
old alr. weak heart u see. :P
its not like u know me on day 1 dat i talked so softly right..
and i dont deserve to be treated this way. u know it.
u know wad i dread guys do to me. promise me u wont hurt me again. :( lastly, im also at fault for using that 2 words on u.. cos i was really feeling.. yeah, that 2 words. HAHAS. :x
and sorry for not being able to spend a lot of time with u this week cos of this event.
but u know im always right here waiting. ♥
*psst: dread waiting for ur reply now when sch starts! takes 84364536years to reply. :( but i still endured and nv say anything ok. so stop saying im not understanding towards ur chef job! :) ohh.. went over to his place for lunch on sunday!
he cooked chilli crabs! yum tum tum!
its superb! :D good job chef ethan! *thumbs up*
and i spent some time alone at the airport that evening..
totally needed some time alone to sort out my thots.
it kinda help. :) feel good to be alone, taking my own sweet time to do what i want..
but on e other hand, it feels so upset to be alone in such a huge place.. the emptiness..
contradicting aye.
umm, while i was alone, i had an urge to pack a few clothes into my luggage and take on a flight to somewhere far.. far away from here. and experience a whole new life! it seems so cool. but i know i would certainly be home sick. :/
i just feel like going overseas ALONE.
i would always close my eyes and imagine the places i would go.. the people i will meet on the way..
how great it will be travelling to places whereby no one knows u, and just be carefree.. revealing who u really are. :)
i guess, bottom-line is, i need a holidayyyyyy! :)
♥♥♥
Friday, 22 January 2010
heh. digressing from IB revision.
so freaking tired of it. :/
some parts i just simply dont understand what the heck its talking about! so frustrating.
i could still follow thru for the first few e-lectures.. den e last few i simply drifted off.
so hard to concentrate. doh! :(
i really dont feel like reading anymore. but im sure i cnt make it if i dont. so that sucks. :(
and the test is in another 4hrs time! urghh! >:(
anw, went to hazel's 21st bday party a few weeks back! :)
here are the pictures!
*ignore my mushroom hair pls. hahas*
and surprisingly i met hazel's "god-brother" in the club last saturday!
i dint even know his existance and he actually recognize me. LOL. small small world! :)
realised my space have been deprived of visuals!
hahas. more will be coming! :)
esp b.ethan's fan cee. HAHAHAS.
for now it will be my pictures! :p
tried this new hair style before i chop my fringe off. :/ now i kinda miss it. :(
and i havent post any photos of my new hair. so here it is!
 im not your toy.
Wednesday, 20 January 2010
rahhh! okay, i totally failed to fulfil my resolution. (if u read my fb status)
supposed to tuck in by 10pm. but time check: 11.30pm.
heh! however, on a brighter side, at least theres some kind of improvements. :)
havent thot of other resolutions or should i say more satisfying resolutions, yet.
for now, its this few:
- drink more water and be hydrated. :) carry a bottle when im out. Cos i dread plain water and i hardly drink up to 3 cups of PLAIN water a day. :( sounds bad enuff uh. so time for a change! diabetes coming my way if i dont. :x
-sleep as early as possible. preferably by 10pm, latest 11pm. :) i ve checked, best timing to sleep is 10pm to 6am! so gonna catch the golden hours! my eye bags are horrendous. :(
-improve on my time management. im known for ms late queen. and it has been my resolution since the longest time. HAHAS. but i swear i made improvements these 2 weeks! really! im either early or punctual for my 9 AM LESSONS okay! *smug* thats all for nao. shall continue to expand when i thot of more. quick updates:
-successfully celebrated baby’s 19th bday despite some hiccups. :)
-mini room revamp! it looks cleaner and neater now! gotta buy paint and start painting my “wall of fame” and start saving for new furnitures!
-new tote bag. im super in love with it. :) thanks huishan for getting it for me!
-im anticipating about this event on 30th Jan! so exciting! shant reveal it here. but im surprised and glad bestie yins recommended me for that! :) and silly babe, i know we drifted but e memories still stays with me. u re nt forgotten ok! its inevitable we drifted. but im sure we will get back to where we were. have faith! ♥ you re so big headed that you think the world evolves around you. :( to bed.
sweet dreams.
Sunday, 17 January 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY ETHAN! :D
hoho, now u are nineteen le!!! hope u will be more mature uh! hees.
but sure u have grown much and changed as compared to when i first met you. :)
im really glad to have you by my side and
definitely thankful to u,
giving me your love.♥
still rmb last year u celebrated for me. Now its your turn! :)
u did a great job for me so my turn to return you this favor.
hope you enjoy yourself yesterdayy! the surprises and all. and not forgetting the presents! :D yeayy!
lastly, may all your wishes come true!
just wanne say im sorry for not being able to give you the most perfect birthday celebration. But i gave my heart and tried my very best to at least make it as near to perfection as possible. and im really sorry too for not being able to make your day very very special.. because of my very tight budget. thats my bad. :(
but i hope that my companion is your best present. :)
with loads of love,
Darling Janice.
Thursday, 14 January 2010
 EXHAUSTED. so many things to be frustrated and vexed about. life. time to hit the sack.
Saturday, 9 January 2010
guess im falling sick. :(
having flu and cough. whats worse is cramps, cramps and more cramps!
supposed to be mugging hard for accounting test on monday.
but i coulnt concentrate with so many things cramped in my head.
much had happened for the past few months.
i would very much like to say im still the old me, unaffected and all, but i realised im not.
i admit, im affected greatly by what happened..
i ve been thru sleepless nights tryng to reflect.. so it will be a long and wordy post. read only if u truly care abt me.
i saw the adverse change in me..
baby felt the impact first hand..
maybe its part of PMS, but i would rather not use that as an excuse.
been really emotional and sensitive.
Got really upset when i heard things i dint want to hear..
this affected us and we had a heart-to-heart talk in e middle of nowhere..
and i just keep tearing..
i know i may look nonchalant about it..
but im a girl who needs loads of assurance.
当你拥有了，就会害怕失去。
thank you baby for giving in to me during this period of time.
you are great love! :)
twinie told me im no more the carefree and crazy girl i used to be..
the girl who will do WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO WHEN SHE FEELS LIKE IT..
the girl who is as HAPPY and ENTHUSIASTIC as she could be about anything and everything..
i realised i cared too much about what people have to say.. or should i say, the MINORITY.
ive decided to not to give a damn about what these people have to say anymore..
cos i know i have it. :) and what they saw were just the appearance.
afterall, 都是表面功夫。 sometimes i also wish people weren't so practical.
why is love measured with money? i dont understand.
it doesnt mean bf gave me expensive gifts means he love me more..
it doesnt mean bf treat me to expensive meals means he is very good to me..more than im good to him?
*im not saying he doesnt love me or he is not good to me. hes awesome. just want to take it as EXAMPLES to why ppl are so practical and “surface”.
i just feel so unfair sometimes.
like why do i have to face this kinda thing like i dont deserve him?
if thats the case, i rather bf dont give me anything. serious! im nt some moneyminded girl.
i would still love someone equally without luxurious gifts and all.
yes, i know he very sweet, but as though im nt sweet to him. FCUK. :/
for the first time in my life, i felt as though im nt worthy of someone? like wth.
and i felt inferior to my partner? like again wth?
i dint know theres this kinda thing in a r/s. competing against each other like who is more attractive than who in a couple?
like who is more worthy of who? OH GOSH.
i wanne put a stop to all this. i believe we have our own strengths and weaknesses and we compliment each other. full stop.
i dread and had enuff of hearing all this nonsense.
dont judge me if u dont know me!
as im writing this, tears welled up my eyes again..
i need my self esteem back. i need my happiness.
so im going to find my old self back!
and next week gonna be a tough week for me.. but im gonna make it! :) DUA LOVE BIRTHDAYYY!
went on a date with bf ytd and unexpectedly became his birthday gift hunting day! haha.
omg.. he gt A LOT of WANTS loh! hahahas! too bad ur gf dont own a gold mine, if not i will buy all for u! :p
in the end i bought him the birkenstock he wanted! :D wanted to give it to him as a surprise present on his bday but his havanas snapped!
so bought it in advance! :) the funny thing is there are TWO groups of guys there as well and THEY ALL WEARING THE SAME STYLE AS BF! hahahas.
usual style: head porter, fred perry, cheap monday/nudie and now birkenstock. LOL.
one guy got e same bag as him, but luckily he dint bring out. his headporter blackbeauty.
the other guy wore exactly the same fred perry shirt he have.. SAME COLOUR some more!
OMG. all the clones. hahahas.
after that had dinner at fep and back home! :)
happy to spend time with baby after so long! *PROOF!* hahas! *inside joke*
and bf! we very long nv take picture alr!!!
counting down..8 more days!
i know my bf very cute.and im proud of him. :)
just leave me alone. i will greatly appreciate that.
Thursday, 7 January 2010
Birthday Pictorial Post!
Up first,
Natalie Babe Belated Nineteen
 hazel and jialing.:)
 strawberry shortcake!
Wednesday, 6 January 2010
SIP report- strike out. finally! :D a great sense of relieve.
Monday was total madness.
i nearly broke down due to stress. :(
things definitely werent going my way, but i decide to just take it easy.
woke up late and missed my tut.
as this sem is damn short, i could only miss one tut.
i couldnt rmb if its my first as i was late e other time & certainly unsure if teacher marked my attendance or not.
which means if he dint, i would gt a GPA 1 for that sub straight away which i dont.
so it kinda sucks being mindf-ed. :(
then next, baby called me to tell me his printer couldnt be operated!
eff-ing mad. okay, not mad with him but with the things that is happening!
i nearly broke into tears.
i quickly got up and told myself, JANICE, NO TIME TO CRYYY!
i picked myself up and do up my appendices, content page,etcs.
rushed to school to get it settled.
theres so many things and im in a panic-state. DOH!
i even forgot to transfer my pictures that i wanted to print into the thumbdrive! DAMN!
anw i got it all done by 4pm when submission is at 5pm.
BUT ITS NOT THE END!
i was freaking hungry cos i dint have anything since i woke up.. or rather since last night! :(
i had a quick meal and started revising for my test which is at 6pm!
i actually had to study 8 chapters in 1 hr!
GOD DAMN STRESS. :(:(:(
however, im just so glad 4th Jan is OVER!
not forgetting, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY FOREVER LOVABLE GRACE CHAN LI LIAN! :D felt a lil awkward to see the whole group of them after so long.
but just wanne say u guys still own a place in my heart. :)
oh and i just realised i havent have the time to think of new year resolution and how i spend count downing to 2010! :( shall do it soon!
ANNDDDDD.. i did a stupid move!
i thot a new year and after a stressful day, i should go cut my hair!
and i did.. which i kinda regretting it now. :x
i went to cut BANGS again and this time its the thicker kind and it look like MUSHROOM!
omgggg.. and its pretty short. so i reckon i look very much like a dumb toot. HAHHAAS. oh wells. shall pin it up till it GROWWWWW!
and calling out to my tanning buds, I need tanning session urgentlyyy!
havent been taking my dose of vitamin D for MONTHS! gosh!
i miss sun, sand, sea!
any takers?! :D
tonight im a green-eyed monster.
Monday, 4 January 2010
morning world!
its 5 plus in e mornin!
6 hours of struggle is total madness. :(
but im glad im done with it.
i feel my puny eyes.
time for a good rest. :)
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