Tuesday, 26 January 2010
woo.. im back from the first training for saturday’s event!
alright, i only told a few of my closest ones abt this event..
was quite worried i couldnt make it so i dint want to announce anything yet.
but from what i see, no one should be kicked out.
exact 10 babes and 10 dudes.
helping to model for s’pore poly 50th anniversary event! cool! thanks yins!
so today practically just did catwalk.
bah. im in a whole new environment with unfamiliar faces!
i felt really nervous and shy at first. felt so insecure when yins left!
i know i need to make new friends. but i feel so out-of-place!
you know like u are thrown into the big ocean trying to keep yourself afloat? :/
yeah dats how i felt. but slowly i tried to open up, but still quite reserved i think.
some said im so shy and quiet. LOL. cos im simply nervous and certainly, uncomfortable. gahhh
anw, i missed the first training last week.
so came today, was a lil lag behind.
okay, prob not first time cat walking. BUT ITS SO DIFFERENT!
okay.. how should i phrase it..
erm, cos the other time, i modelled for some hairstyle/ make up event, e audience are mostly 20s.
and i was able to like take it easy..
but this time, EVERYONE IS ARD MY AGE!
so the pressure is there! :(
and so.. i would say i did not perform up to my expectation/standard.
bah.. sadly i did trashy. :(
i got the counts wrongly which was quite embarrassing and i dont have enuff confidence!
heh! some girls were like damn confident luhs! sashaying down the walkway like nobody business. ahh..
I NEED PRACTICE and CONFIDENCE PILLS! :D
tomorrow going to NUM for fitting! :D
got yins to accompany me! weet weet!
even though its free labour, but i will take it as a learning experience and i gained back my friendship i missed so so much. :)
you know what i mean! love you muchhie bestie! great catch up today! and im missing out a lot on bf’s life ever since his birthday. :(
felt totally jaded and upset that things btw us were like rocky. booboo.
cos of some “bitch” luhs . :x OOPS.
but i hope we cleared things up last night. reallye.
i want things to work out.
im really giving in already.. its up to you to make it right.
i could see u giving in too..but stop taking me on a roller coaster ride. my heart couldnt take no more of this. :/
old alr. weak heart u see. :P
its not like u know me on day 1 dat i talked so softly right..
and i dont deserve to be treated this way. u know it.
u know wad i dread guys do to me. promise me u wont hurt me again. :( lastly, im also at fault for using that 2 words on u.. cos i was really feeling.. yeah, that 2 words. HAHAS. :x
and sorry for not being able to spend a lot of time with u this week cos of this event.
but u know im always right here waiting. ♥
*psst: dread waiting for ur reply now when sch starts! takes 84364536years to reply. :( but i still endured and nv say anything ok. so stop saying im not understanding towards ur chef job! :) ohh.. went over to his place for lunch on sunday!
he cooked chilli crabs! yum tum tum!
its superb! :D good job chef ethan! *thumbs up*
and i spent some time alone at the airport that evening..
totally needed some time alone to sort out my thots.
it kinda help. :) feel good to be alone, taking my own sweet time to do what i want..
but on e other hand, it feels so upset to be alone in such a huge place.. the emptiness..
contradicting aye.
umm, while i was alone, i had an urge to pack a few clothes into my luggage and take on a flight to somewhere far.. far away from here. and experience a whole new life! it seems so cool. but i know i would certainly be home sick. :/
i just feel like going overseas ALONE.
i would always close my eyes and imagine the places i would go.. the people i will meet on the way..
how great it will be travelling to places whereby no one knows u, and just be carefree.. revealing who u really are. :)
i guess, bottom-line is, i need a holidayyyyyy! :)
♥♥♥
|
