Saturday, 9 January 2010
guess im falling sick. :(
having flu and cough. whats worse is cramps, cramps and more cramps!
supposed to be mugging hard for accounting test on monday.
but i coulnt concentrate with so many things cramped in my head.
much had happened for the past few months.
i would very much like to say im still the old me, unaffected and all, but i realised im not.
i admit, im affected greatly by what happened..
i ve been thru sleepless nights tryng to reflect.. so it will be a long and wordy post. read only if u truly care abt me.
i saw the adverse change in me..
baby felt the impact first hand..
maybe its part of PMS, but i would rather not use that as an excuse.
been really emotional and sensitive.
Got really upset when i heard things i dint want to hear..
this affected us and we had a heart-to-heart talk in e middle of nowhere..
and i just keep tearing..
i know i may look nonchalant about it..
but im a girl who needs loads of assurance.
当你拥有了，就会害怕失去。
thank you baby for giving in to me during this period of time.
you are great love! :)
twinie told me im no more the carefree and crazy girl i used to be..
the girl who will do WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO WHEN SHE FEELS LIKE IT..
the girl who is as HAPPY and ENTHUSIASTIC as she could be about anything and everything..
i realised i cared too much about what people have to say.. or should i say, the MINORITY.
ive decided to not to give a damn about what these people have to say anymore..
cos i know i have it. :) and what they saw were just the appearance.
afterall, 都是表面功夫。 sometimes i also wish people weren't so practical.
why is love measured with money? i dont understand.
it doesnt mean bf gave me expensive gifts means he love me more..
it doesnt mean bf treat me to expensive meals means he is very good to me..more than im good to him?
*im not saying he doesnt love me or he is not good to me. hes awesome. just want to take it as EXAMPLES to why ppl are so practical and “surface”.
i just feel so unfair sometimes.
like why do i have to face this kinda thing like i dont deserve him?
if thats the case, i rather bf dont give me anything. serious! im nt some moneyminded girl.
i would still love someone equally without luxurious gifts and all.
yes, i know he very sweet, but as though im nt sweet to him. FCUK. :/
for the first time in my life, i felt as though im nt worthy of someone? like wth.
and i felt inferior to my partner? like again wth?
i dint know theres this kinda thing in a r/s. competing against each other like who is more attractive than who in a couple?
like who is more worthy of who? OH GOSH.
i wanne put a stop to all this. i believe we have our own strengths and weaknesses and we compliment each other. full stop.
i dread and had enuff of hearing all this nonsense.
dont judge me if u dont know me!
as im writing this, tears welled up my eyes again..
i need my self esteem back. i need my happiness.
so im going to find my old self back!
and next week gonna be a tough week for me.. but im gonna make it! :) DUA LOVE BIRTHDAYYY!
went on a date with bf ytd and unexpectedly became his birthday gift hunting day! haha.
omg.. he gt A LOT of WANTS loh! hahahas! too bad ur gf dont own a gold mine, if not i will buy all for u! :p
in the end i bought him the birkenstock he wanted! :D wanted to give it to him as a surprise present on his bday but his havanas snapped!
so bought it in advance! :) the funny thing is there are TWO groups of guys there as well and THEY ALL WEARING THE SAME STYLE AS BF! hahahas.
usual style: head porter, fred perry, cheap monday/nudie and now birkenstock. LOL.
one guy got e same bag as him, but luckily he dint bring out. his headporter blackbeauty.
the other guy wore exactly the same fred perry shirt he have.. SAME COLOUR some more!
OMG. all the clones. hahahas.
after that had dinner at fep and back home! :)
happy to spend time with baby after so long! *PROOF!* hahas! *inside joke*
and bf! we very long nv take picture alr!!!
counting down..8 more days!
i know my bf very cute.and im proud of him. :)
just leave me alone. i will greatly appreciate that.
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