Sunday, 20 April 2008
WRETCHED. had been feeling shitty this few days. especially in e night. sigh. sometimes i just wante be alone.. sometimes i just wish i dint have any expectations.. so i wouldnt be disappointed at all. things just aint going my way.. and its just sucky sucky sucky.
had been spending loads of time with venos this week.
a few days back we had venos dinner at tampiness mall open plaza. i had a great time. everyone just packed their food, gather tgt to eat, all dat games, camwhoring and ghost stories telling. :) it spell FUN. but e journey back home alone is just so terrible.
next was week zero jam and hop.
i was all excited and stuff. but it just turn out badly i felt.
met apple & FY for shopping. however, dint manage to shop. even thou apple bought a halter neck blouse. ended up eating 'taiwan xiao chi'. i was so hungry dat i had a bowl of mee sua and shared e fried chicken with them.
FA yee ping came along. then we went to bedok for dinner. had yong tau foo. i was super full luhs. afterwhich we cabbed to sch for jam & hop!
it supposed to be fun filled.
but.. i dunnoe.
its not dat my mood isnt there. i have e mood.i wanted to dance. but somehow it just aint right. sigh.
it just aint e same.
firstly, i couldnt find e right people to dance with. apple pulled me along.but i dunno e ppl there, so its a bit awkward. secondly, the songs werent dat nice at first. and thirdly, which was e worse reason of all.. irritating people. zzz. seriously. irritating to the max.
i was dancing and came guys who wante dance with me and keep tapping on my shoulder to face him & dance with him! i dint even wante face him! grr.. like blahs.. and it bloody hell happened twice. wad a night.
but after the whole thing, part of venos gathered ard and we cheered (hosamaliya) & even did our para sakura! dat did hype me up a bit. :)
but after dat.. things was back to normal. emo-ing in process.
had cheng ting opposite sch with venos before heading home.
saturday:
was e usual tradition. mass empires gathering at sentosa. met CY, jia jie, Beverly, jia ying at dobhy ghaut. met the rest of the late comers at harbour front. some of us went to had BK before going in.
it was at palawan beach. we bought b'day cake for FA hakim! and theres cake-smashing actions. HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAKIm!
the guys were throwing people into the water. i dint wante be tek glam u noe. oops. so was practically 'on the run' the whole day. hiding outside 7 eleven. =x with another glam queen, maybelle.
then i decided to go back for some games. played soccer. and in less than 10mins. i was injured. good job janice. my leg just slammed hard onto sheng wei's leg! and my poor toes were crushed. :(
after washing up, we went to vivo. some had dinner there while e rest of us went to boat quay to support dom's gig at home club.
and again a series of unfortunate events happened.. stoopid taxi uncle dropped us at e wrg place.
then e entrance fee was too steep for me, xiu zhen and gareth. so we went to had bak ku teh instead. :x LOL.
after e gig we went to BK again to eat and stuff.
wasnt in good condition both physically and mentally. it was 12am. thank god he was there. he accompanied me home. thanks for everything. :) loves.
i declared 19th april 08 is a grumpy day. cos scandal xiuzhen, nelson and i are all grumpy on this day. 
will you come & sit beside me...quietly?
im sorry abt wad happened, nelson. do take care.
& thank you everyone who asked abt my toe. im going to see e doc tml. :)
lastly, lynette, thanks for helping me. :) was really tired of limping around. hahas.
oh, & i realised my blog is deprived of pics. shall upload pics soon kay. :)
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and i want to continue ranting...
which you can always ignore this part.
sometimes u can be an angel. but sometimes u got me so f**ked up.
i dunnoe. i wish u gt the hint. i need some air. you gt me really suffocated. i have my limits and i have reached it. everyone needs their own space. dont u need yours?
i just wish u will learn to be more independent. just a lil bit more.. no one can be with u at all time. if u dont feel like doing smth, it doesnt mean i dont. why is it dat i always have to stop doing smth i like just bcos of YOU. im sick and tired of it. to say it nasty, you are a burden to me. i understand friends should be by your side when u need them. i understand. i will & i did. but sometimes its just too much for me. & worse still.. i dunnoe how to converse it to u. im feeling so WRETCHED. save me.
& another issue.
after thinking it thru. i really find myself so silly. it was really redundant.
i just feel so inferior and stuff. keep pulling myself down..down to almost nothing. am i really dat worthless? i felt insecure and im losing my confidence fast.
but thinking it thru, does it really matters?
i found my answer.. nope. :) im going to be a happy girl again. and i promise myself i will not get upset over such trivial silly matter.
JANICE HUAY, dats not going to affect u ever again!
i will be happy again.
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