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deep within me
maybe its love
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Thursday, 13 September 2007 im reallie sorry my frens. its another sad post and im not here to be get sympathy frm anyone. things jus nv seems to get better for me. you know how much i wish i had a shoulder to cry on now? im nt greedy. im jus asking fer ONE! all i wan is a soul to be totally MINE for jus a few hours.. my life is totally upside down. what can be worse than getting sick for no reason, vomiting in a MRT, having to wear nothing except BLACK FORMAL dressing for work when you have NONE, getting all Cs & Ds for 1st sem of poly life, a GPA of 1.8, love is leaving you further & further, being utterly disappointed with yourself, one with simply..no life. all of this things happening all at e same time. am i reallie thinking too much and worrying for nth? i feel so helpless. all i wante do is cry my heart out. why doesnt things go according to plan. im flared up with my life..my fate..my destiny! just went everyones gone. the world is quiet. finally. all i could hear was the ps2 game sound accompanying a helpless soul. i could no longer hold my tears back after much struggling. no one could sense my unwillingness, my sadness, my worries, my anguish.no one. not even someone whom i tot who knows me well & understands me. my vision was blurred..something wet dripped down onto my leg... before i knew it, i heard voices getting louder & louder..i stood up,left my seat, head bent low, avoiding' ppl's eyes. i washed my face..and i left with Mr generous. unwilling to look at anyone straight eye to eye, i took my bag, walked towards e door w/o looking back and walked away as fast as possible. i couldnt stop. in Mr generous mum's car, i looked out of e window.. all i could see was bright streetlights, the trees roadside and e dark sky.. i sense nth but loneliness.. once again, my eyes were wet. but i dint allow it to drop..at least not here. coincidentally, the radio station was playing "big girls dont cry".. my smile is fake. my worries were true. so are my fears. my lonely soul is out. like what i used to say to becca and phuaphua when they're upset..theres ups & downs in life.. its jus your downs.your ups will come soon after ur downs is over. look forward to your ups, not ur downs. will it work for me? i hate life like tis. 沒有希望,就不會失望. |
LA BAMBINA
♥Im just an average girl next door ♥TP is my lovely second home ♥bluesuki2003@hotmail.com ♥Gemini ♥19 ♥sports, dance, music, sleeping ♥white&turquoise ♥family&friends ♥animals ♥im NICE & its so in my name! :D flash me a smile my friend and i will flash u mine! :) i wanne be the only hand you need to hold on to. & you know u're the one who keeps me smiling with those dimples. :) dancebabydance leave a note
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